Stuff I Made Up

Well, it has been a while since I last updated my "unnamed uprising," but I feel it is time. A great deal in my life has changed in the past two months or so. However, some things remain the same: still vegetarian (mostly vegan), still love to write, and still into guys. These pillars of my life fueled me to write a series of quatrains (a four line stanza) for fun which have become a pet-project that I return to and am continuing to develop. I have written twenty quatrains to date, but will only share a few here as they are quite personal and are going to be used for an impending performance project; my favorite ones aren't making an appearance here. I have fun fleshing out these snapshots-of-life and hope you enjoy reading them. FYI: some are explicit in content.

Quatrain III

night out dancing with a boy

in a city of Illinois;

grind against him, grab his dick;

drink so much that we'll be sick

Quatrain VI

give him pet-names, suck him off,

care for him if he has a cough,

make him laugh, go out to dine;

these are things for which I pine 

Quatrain VIII

hold my hand, pull me right through the crowd;

music's up, we have to shout so loud;

others notice that we’re together,

only tacos could make this better

Quatrain IX

buy me sushi, link me porn,

give me a shirt that you have worn,

bare your body, share your bed,

and you'll never leave my head 

XMAS stuff

3 25-word Reviews

The Impossible

McGregor and Watts give extraordinary performances alongside wonderful newcomer Holland. Bayona directs with fierce suspense. The compelling story and visual spectacle are a winning combination. 

4/5 Stars.

This Is 40

Rudd and Mann are not funny or charming enough to keep this repetitive, uninsightful script afloat. Apatow’s focus and story meander to an unfulfilling end. 

2.5/5 Stars.

m. henrietta’s veritable vegan epiphany

Awesomely seasoned scrambled organic tofu with sautéed onions served next to passable veggie sausage and thinly sliced avocado. A completely satisfying and richly flavored dish.

Christmas Catch-Up

So I am working my way towards vegan, guys. It’s going to be a process. I thought I could just decide and do an all plant-based diet overnight, but alas that did not work. I have to do some more research on options, substitutes, and vegan-friendly establishments. I am excited for this venture. I had an amazing vegan peanut butter cookie and m. henrietta which just furthered my resolve to make the transition. The most difficult everyday item to give up will be eggs (or possibly that sneaky milk I don’t realize is in just about everything. But I love having a good cheese every once in a while too so that will be a hard commodity to relinquish.

In other news… we had a WHITE CHRISTMAS in Chicago. Trent and I walked around our neighborhood with our pink wine and champagne concoction. The air was crisp, the dusting fluffy, and the streets practically deserted. It was really nice. For Christmas dinner Trent made a veggie sausage and cream cheese stuffing (inside crescent rolls) and I made two of the Beekman Boys' recipes (maple glazed sweet potatoes and glazed carrots with pine nuts and golden raisins) for our sides. We also had an aromatic mulled wine which was infused with brandy, an orange, honey, cloves, and ginger. Delicious.

I got Ed Sheeran’s album “+” for Christmas and gifted Ellie Goulding’s “Halcyon.” They are two of my favorite musicians from 2012. After I give the albums a few listens, I’ll write some thoughts on them and artists’ contribution to the post-retro British invasion. Also, I’ll post my Chicago Stage Standard review of Trap Door’s The Unveiling and Dozens of Cousins later this week when it’s live on their website.

I am going to attempt to escape the post-Christmas blues with movies (Les Miserables, Django Unchained, Rust and Bone, Anna Karenina, etc), vegan delights, new projects (Pride Films & Plays’ enhanced staged reading of "The Bachelors"), and New Year’s shenanigans planning.

What’re ya’ll up to? 

how cool is 12/12/12??

TRENT: 
12/12/12

Vegetarian day 3,595. Non Smoker Week 3.

Cookies are my drug of choice.

Okay, so honestly vegetarianism hasn't been all that bad. I've actually enjoyed the health benefits of it not to mention it's cheaper for me now at Subway.

I have admittedly been going back and forth on the pesca lifestyle. Not that I eat fish on the regular, but I will feel like such an asshole if I go back to visit Mississippi and say "No I don't eat fried shrimp poboys." I feel like an asshole just for typing it right now. 

I'm doing this veggie thing solely for animals but does this mean I'm a hypocrite if I buy the leather jacket I've been eying at Prada? And what about crawfish boils? Beer is vegetarian, so are potatoes and corn. I don't think crawdads have feelings do they? Ha.

But then I also think about sushi. What do I do now? Just make some rice, slice some avocado, and slather wasabi on it? Sounds like some straight up bullshit to me. 

I know that I cannot if I want to be a true vegetarian, but I'm having a hard time letting go. Unlike Rose did when she told Jack she'd never let go and then whoops, see ya playa I've gotta blow this whistle and get the fuck off this headboard in the freezing Atlantic. 

I have been gorging myself on cookies. It's like I have a problem. I walked into Trader Joe's the other day to get some staples and sitting in front of me was an entire display of butter cookies lightly sprinkled with red and white sugar candies. Yes, I bought a box. Oh, and yes, I have about a quarter of that left. I've also drank almond milk with my cookies. Almond milk is amazing! Not to mention Nelson brings home a cookies from office work functions and I loose my mind on those. Yesterdays was a double chocolate, a peppermint cookie, chocolate chip, and others that I don't remember because I was too busy playing the game of eat it fast before it goes stale. I know you think I'm exaggerating but I don't even think Sally Struthers ate her feelings this much. 

The cookies have to stop because I have no control. I will miss those cookies so much.

The smoking thing is good as in I have not. My life has resumed normal and I've found that I can do all the things I used to do but without smoking i.e coffee drinking, cocktails, or blinking. It tends to creep up on me around the afternoon time at work. That's when I feel it come on and my palms gets sweaty, people look at me funny, and someone always offers "Do you need to take a break and I'll sit at your desk?" I yell at them because I'm a non smoker and non smokers don't need breaks. Yeah, that's right..I'm a veggie non smoker, bitches! I don't need sushi, seafood, or breaks. I'll have a cookie though..

NELSON: 

12/12/12

Vegetarian Day 15. Prohibitionist Day 12. 

Still going strong on both fronts despite the deep dish sausage pizza at work and the Bacardi ads playing every third song on Spotify. 

PS - if I could have Spotify at work my life would be complete. But, alas, corporate America won't allow me the luxury of listening to the new Ke$ha Mumford and Sons album all day. Sigh. Also, I am not permitted to download music from Amazon anymore which is making the music selection on my Android very summer of 2K12 which is not far enough in the distant to be nostalgic or cute.

But back to vegetation and in what forms it goes into my mouth. This portion will be brought to you in elementary school style grading:

SNACKS

Raw Almonds: B+ (I get the raw kind because the flavored ones basically double-dog dare me to eat them all in one sitting. Raw taste just a step above dirt, but that's ok because they are super good for you and filling.)

Pop Chips: C- (I get these when I am starving but know that there's food less than half an hour away. The tortilla chip variety are even worse than the regular ones. Why god why can't Kettle Chips be good for me?!?!?! Did you know they have limited edition Red Chili and Jalapeño Jack flavors available right now?)

Whatever Is Being Sampled At Trader Joe's: B (Not always vegetarian and sample portions make me rage, but I am thankful for the gesture, I guess.) 

Hot Chocolate: A- (This has dangerously become a nightly ritual. The Mexican variety is better than the Puerto Rican which is better than the powdered American kind. May I suggest topping it with light whipped cream and holiday sprinkles? )

Celery & Hummus: A (This. Has. Saved. My. Life. I just love the crunch of the celery with the smooth, flavorful wash of the hummus. Roasted Red Pepper hummus is the way to go.) 

Native Foods Cafe's Chicken Wings: A++ (ALL TIME FAVORITE THING. *mic drop*) 

Now that Bacardi isn't imbibing empty calories into my diet, I can afford to have a little treat here and there. I've even had cheese! However, I am still feeling pretty satisfied with my diet. Trent and I have been cooking up some hearty stuff and trying new places like The Chicago Diner (meat free since '83). Their cajun black bean burger was fanfuckingtastic as are their flautas, but the real winner is their vegan vanilla ice cream... seriously, it's like cows can go extinct now because who needs them would be set free to graze if people would nut-up and try the vegan option. It's that good. Especially when accompanied by a vegan chocolate chip cookie drizzled with vegan melted chocolate. Speaking of vegan... I am contemplating trying it for a week just as a personal experiment. We'll see... 

Trent & I Do It Veggie-style

After just a few days of going full-blown vegetarian, Trent and I blogged our feelings. Here are the results:

TRENT:
12/06/12

25 and a non smoking vegetarian...

That is what will be inscribed either on my tombstone or a classified ad.

So, last week I got sick and acquired a virus that made me cough up black and green. It was like I was ridding the colors of the wicked witch from Oz out of my body. I should also mention that I've been a heavy smoker for a while, and I enjoy the hell out of it. I'm not one of those types of smokers that casually smokes a cigarette. If I smoke, I smoke the shit out of it and as much of it as possible. So when I was dying of the Witch Bronchitis, naturally my body did not want to smoke. I thought to myself "Trent, you're killing yourself and it's expensive. Stop and don't ever look back. Free yourself from the cycle of abuse." Trust me, it wasn't as "after school special" in my head as it sounds written down. It's been a week and a half since I quit and while I feel better, I still miss it and frankly I like smoking. But I'm strong, or at least I think I am.

So what does a newly non smoker whose body is going through such trauma and agitation do? I became a Vegetarian. I capitalized the V on Vegetarian because we're so fucking elite.

My boyfriend and I were sitting in bed flipping through the Netflix figuring out what to watch. I'm an avid documentary fan, and I saw Vegucated which was a documentary about 3 individuals who went vegan for 6 weeks. Now what with it being a documentary, there was a wealth of information about America's Farm Industry and how their supply and demand forces them to churn out their production efficiently thus animals are treated with torture, baby chicken gets their beaks ripped off, and generally Farms are now like fucking Guantanamo Bay. Well, my moral conscious got the best of me. I don't know why, I usually ignore that shit. Now I can't do the Vegan. I'm sorry but I feel limited as of now anyways, so If I was forced to endure Veganism, I might loose my mind. I know there are those extremists out there that say "Well, if you want to do good for animals, it has to be for ALL animals, and it's not pleasant getting milked from a machine and blah blah blah, and basically what I'm saying is that I don't like cheese." Well fuck you. I do like cheese and actually I'm hungry right now and feel like I always will be. Oh, and unless zucchini comes in cake form, I think it's fucking disgusting. Some people have mentioned to me that it's best to try and do veggie more days than not and slowly ease into the transition of no meat and all veggie. 

So, now I'm vegetarian. It's day 3 or 4. I'm not sure how long I'll hang on. I keep dreaming of burgers.

NELSON:

12/06/12

 

26 years old, 6 week purposefully sober, and 4 days completely vegetarian.

 

I'd just like to start by saying that I would rather Trent's "25 and a non smoking vegetarian" be chiseled into his tombstone than printed in a classifieds ad. I mean, why would he need a classifieds ad unless he was looking for another man? So there's that out of the way.

 

Pero a lo que venimos (that's espanol for let's get down to business)... I have always had vegetarian tendencies (yes, it's as sexy as it sounds) and don't eat meat all that often unless you count that terrible time that I couldn't live without chicken biscuits - so basically, all three years of my Mississippi residency - I wanted to fit in with the locals. So I don't expect the transition to full blown vegetarianism to be that difficult. Luckily, I also enjoy meat substitutes, vegan food (especially from Native Foods Cafe), most vegetables, and love beans and nuts. AND HUMMUS. Sorry I'm not sorry about the caps.

 

I have been vegetarian before for six months while in undergrad and often choose vegetarian options because I am gay and thus self-conscious about my appearance. So roasted vegetable burritos bowls and falafel plates are common place choices instead of ground beef burritos and chicken schwarma pitas. Yet, I will likely still encounter cravings for turkey which I really enjoy and sushi and oh what the hell I love me a good hamburger, chicken sandwich, and pepperoni pizza on occasion. Plus, I want to do this in a healthy way. I don't want to fall into the trap of trying to kill cravings with extra bread, more cheese, or sweets.

 

I have noticed that so far my caffeine intake has increased likely due that my alcohol intake has disappeared which means no Coke Zero, but also because coffee make me feel full so I'm not sure if that's from the-all-veggie-highway or otherwise. (Yes, I know alcohol is vegetarian but I am on a hiatus.)

 

Today I am in an class learning about Microsoft Excel (and order of operations, apparently). I had an English muffin filled with egg-whites, green peppers, red onions, and hot sauce with black coffee for breakfast. Lunch was vegan chicken wings from Native Foods with a side of chili lime pop chips, a handful of almonds... and I must admit that I stopped in at I Dream of Falafel to get my post class snack (a side order of falafel with spicy tomato sauce and pickled turnips.) The plan is to make burrito bowls with Trent for dinner. But we'll see... he was damn near a nervous breakdown last night because he didn't get the feta he requested on his grilled zuchinni pita...

TRENT:

12/07/12

Vegetarians Poop a lot...

I will not lie, my dinner last night was fucking amazeballs. All thanks to my boyfriend who cooked us up a lovely veggie burrito bowl. I have learned that meat substitutions will in fact be my friend on this journey we call Vegetarian (see how I capitalized it again? Mad respect, right?

I think that my psychology about my current lifestyle change is fucking me up thought. I know that the amount of food I ate last night was beyond sufficient. I was full, satisfied, sated; all of those things you're supposed to feel when eating a lovely meal, but since my mind thinks "You really think fucking spinach is going to do the trick?" I freak and start to gorge on other things like celery with hummus and 25,000 cinnamon sugar pita chips. Yes, the cinnamon sugar thing is real and you would be a fool to not check it out. I have to learn more self control because I know my stomach is happy so much so that I'm shitting more than a 3 month old.

I know that's more than you need to know, but seriously. I'm so regular that I feel like it's irregular. It's not, I know that now, but at first..at first I thought I had a stomach virus. Then I realized that turns out if you don't eat like a 7 year old, you'll poop like a normal adult. Look, I poop and digress a lot..anyway, it really is the psychology. I then think about it in a twisted way. I think, yeah I'm overeating but at least it's good for me. Vegetables are good for me. I overeat. What can I say? I'm an American damnit.